you are prolific stardust

i’ve never thought of myself as prolific. well, i wouldn’t think of myself as much of anything at all. it took 22 years to call myself an artist, and i’ve been creating my entire life. it was like an addiction that had all the power and none at all. called to say and do and write and speak and read and draw and paint and crinkle and wrinkle. called to act. called to art. called to love. but only voicemails and never a source. no one to ask why, or how, or who are you? just pulled by high tide, at first warm and salty. at second, cold and unforgiving. not enough. i could never be doing enough. focus pulled in every single direction. spherical. 360 degrees. limitless interest turns to 0 interest. if the world says to pick just one then i’ll pick none and pray i’ll fade away, slip under. drown. i never know where i’m going or what i’m doing. yet people will tell me i seem decisive when i work. i’m decidedly lost. decidedly a vessel, filled by Her word. grateful to finally know who’s Who. decidedly found by the ocean because i remember i’m just one in a sea of many. a drop, droplet, grain, morsel. infinitely tiny, yet infinitely powerful. powered by the full force of the unbounding magic in this world. wondering if anyone else can see it the way i always have. wondering if that makes me special, but knowing that makes me the same as everyone and everything. i’m special because i’m you. you’re special because you’re me. stardust. prolific stardust.